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I am currently in a pseudo relationship with a Daddy. We never specified the parameters of our relationship – but we typically contact each other everyday and if nothing else, I thought that we were friends. I recently was hit with some devastating professional news which I wanted his attention and comfort for – unfortunately his attention is currently with another friend and her personal crisis. I’ve already clearly stated that I need some TLC, but was essentially told to take a number. And his communication with me has been cut to nothing.
My question is what is the best way to get his attention without seeming too needy? Or have I already gotten my answer on where I stand in my Daddy’s life?
-I Just Want My Daddy
My initial response is to give it a couple days then calmly reach out again. But be prepared that he has, in fact, already given his answer. It’s possible though that he just isn’t/wasn’t prepared to juggle multiple personal crises among his friendset. He may have put you on hold in an effort to try to take care of one thing at a time.
I also think you should ask yourself, what does “too needy” mean? If you’re not able to feel safe voicing your needs to him, that’s a problem in itself.
If he does respond, you need to have a conversation about the parameters of your relationship.
Hope that helps!
In the Poly Closet
It’s great that you have a relatively open relationship with your family. Without knowing any more about the specifics of your family, I can only give general advice. In terms of evaluating beforehand, I would look to their attitudes toward non-traditional lifestyles in general. Are they generally open-minded people? Do they oppose or support gay marriage? If they are already on board with relationships other than 1-man/1-woman being normal and healthy, that’s a positive sign. Also, do they typically respect your choices? And are you able to agree to disagree?
You can drop hints and test their reaction, but I don’t recommend coming out to them until you’re ready to handle a negative reaction.
You didn’t ask me *how* you should come out to your family, so I’m not going to get into that here. However, as poly generally gets either negative press or no press, I suspect you’ll have to try to explain to them what poly means, or at least what it means to you.